Kiss
Puke
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
