i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
