so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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