it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
