I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
