So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
