I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
