Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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