I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize