i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
