im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
