Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
