i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
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