I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
