Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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