Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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