i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize