I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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