so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
