Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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(917): View more from New York City

someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you

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(720): View more from Colorado

If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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(394): View more from

Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night

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(765): View more from Indiana

What happened to your back?

(260): View more from Indiana

Rug burn. My ass is even worse.

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