Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked my hip out of place.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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