We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
