I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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