he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
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Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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