you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
