i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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