Got a toothbrush?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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