***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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