just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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