Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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