Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
