i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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