i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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