ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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