Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
