Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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