Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
