my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
