she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
