Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
