Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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