Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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