I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I believe in your delicious
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
