I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
God, I missed his penis.
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