Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
