You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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