i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize