she woke up with a sticky ear
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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