that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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