I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i out mim tonsoeep
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