Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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