i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
