That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
