i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
