Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
