My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
