I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need to calm my uterus...
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