i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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